The first question to ask yourself if others annoy you – Valerie Greene

April 20, 2017

Have you ever felt that your loved ones are getting on your nerves just by existing? Suddenly the sound of their voice feels like nails on a chalkboard; or you can’t stand the way they tap their foot when they’re sitting; or their silly jokes start to sound like that annoying commercial that comes on AGAIN!

When that happens to me, the first question I ask myself is: “Am I getting enough self care?”

When I ask this to my clients, inevitably they have been running around taking care of everybody else’s needs, and not having enough time to relax and recharge. When I’m annoyed with my partner, often its really because I’m tired, overworked, or I haven’t had enough fun lately.

You might be thinking, “But I’m so busy, I don’t have TIME for self care!” And I hear that. But what I’ve seen again and again is that when my clients carve out just 10-20 minutes a day to do something pleasurable or centering, it saves them countless hours of arguments, lost sleep due to stress, and low productivity.

When you carve out a few minutes a day for self care, instead of arguing about the dirty dishes, you can laugh about them. Instead of pushing your partner to change their habits, you’ll be enjoying connecting with a friend on the phone and feel recharged.

Here are some suggestions for self care that only takes 10-20 Min/day

  •  Move your body in a way that feels good to you: Dance, bike, Yoga, do a 20 min workout, or another short movement activity
  • Listen to soothing music
  • Do a short guided meditation
  • Pet an animal or tend to a garden
  • Try a grown-ups coloring book! Or another short creative expression like playing music or doodling
  • Call a friend for 20 min just to say “hi”

Once we take a few minutes to center, sometimes we feel recharged. And sometimes it brings up deeper emotions for us to feel.

Many of us don’t make time for self care because being “busy” distracts us from feelings that we would rather not feel, or don’t know how to communicate without starting an argument. As a relationship coach, I specialize in helping women discover the desires underneath their feelings, and communicate their desires in an inspiring way that leads to deeper connection in all your relationships.

Once you discover the productive way to feel your feelings, you can learn how to communicate your desires in a way that inspires others. I’ve helped many women to create loving, passionate partnerships based on mutual support of each other’s dreams and desires!

I’ve created a free e-guide called “Man-ifest Lasting Love” that has a simple 5 Step process for communicating your feelings in a way that inspires men to want to make you happy. You can get your free copy at http://www.coachvaleriegreene.com/eguide/

Lots of Love

Valerie