One of the most common issues that I found when completing research for “The Law of Sobriety” is how addiction and isolation go hand in hand. For most people it is the isolation that triggers the addiction and then the addiction that drives the isolation.
Let me explain what I mean. A person, it could be a teen or an adult, feels socially isolated for some reason. Perhaps they just moved to a new city, started a new job, went to a new college or school, or perhaps they have social anxiety and have difficulty being around people. Regardless of the reason, they feel alone and apart from others. This is a very negative place to be and one that is not in keeping with the natural desire of humans to have meaningful interactions and relationships with others.
The person is aware of their isolation and feelings of loneliness so they are constantly thinking about being alone and what they are missing in their lives. The Law of Attraction comes into play because the negativity and sense of isolation is all the person thinks about. This, in turn, brings about more isolation and loneliness since your emotional state, in this case negative, attracts similar elements in the world around you.
Then, one day, that lonely, unhappy person does something that makes them feel positive, connected and a part of something. This may be gambling getting online, shopping, watching porn, having a few drinks at a bar or using a legal or illegal drug. This rush of feel good chemicals in the brain is new and exciting, so the person repeats the behavior to continue to get that sensation. The problem is, of course, that they need to keep doing more and more to try to recapture that initial sensation.
As time goes by the desire to repeat the behavior, the addiction, becomes problematic socially. What they did to feel good they now know is undesirable to others, so they become more and more isolated to hide the addiction. With less support the addiction becomes the person’s life; creating a vicious cycle.
Here are three simple steps, using the principles of the Law of Attraction, that I work with each of my clients in recovery to stop attracting negative energy and bring in the positive:
- Focus on one good thing a day. When you are focusing on the positive you are open to receiving positive energy and opportunities.
- Identify one person that you trust to connect with on a daily basis. This person needs to be a positive influence and someone that is clean, sober and supportive.
- Set one goal a day and get it done. This can be a small goal; but that sense of accomplishment will bring more accomplishment into your life as you become confident in your abilities and talents.
Sherry Gaba, LCSW is a Radio Host, Certified Transformation Coach and author of the award-winning book The Law of Sobriety: Attracting Positive Energy for a Powerful Recovery and Ecourse. You can take her quiz to find out if you are co-dependent or sign up for a 30-minute strategy session with Sherry. Check out Sherry’s new book “Love Smacked: How to Stop the Cycle of Relationship Addiction and Codependency to Find Everlasting Love”.