Being addicted to love is not the same as being a sex addict, a drug addict or an alcoholic. Love addicts are drawn to people that initially cause them to feel part of a whole rather than as an isolated individual.
For a love addict being single and alone is a crisis. These are people that rely on others for their sense of identity, where the relationship becomes the focus of their lives. Needless to say, love addicts smother the partner, which only causes the partner to pull away while the love addict clings on and compounds the problem.
The other type of partner that is drawn to a love addict is a person who is completely self-centered. They may have narcissistic tendencies or have another type of personality disorder. These are often the “bad boys” of the world, seeming to do nothing but take in a relationship. Finding a partner that wants nothing to do but to give creates the perfect destructive relationship for both.
Being codependent in a relationship with a partner that is abusive, that is cold, or that is constantly cheating is not a positive place to be. For the codependent love addict, they cannot break those ties if they continue to have the same thoughts about the need to be in a relationship.
By tapping into the Law of Attraction and changing how you see yourself in a relationship, it is possible to find comfort in learning to be with yourself. This is an important step before looking for a more positive partner, and it is a step that many love addicts fail to take.
Working with a therapist or counselor can help you to learn how to change your thoughts about who and what you are as well as what you deserve. Once this positive energy is flowing out into the universe, you will find codependency will disappear, allowing you to be a strong, independent person without the need to be in a relationship that is harmful just to feel a part of something.
Sherry Gaba, LCSW is a Radio Host, Certified Transformation Coach and author of the award-winning book The Law of Sobriety: Attracting Positive Energy for a Powerful Recovery and Ecourse. You can take her quiz to find out if you are co-dependent or sign up for a 30-minute strategy session with Sherry. Check out Sherry’s new book “Love Smacked: How to Stop the Cycle of Relationship Addiction and Codependency to Find Everlasting Love”.