Unmasking the Illusion: Understanding Future Faking by Narcissists

Future faking is a manipulative tactic commonly used by narcissists to gain control and manipulate their victims emotionally. It involves making false promises or commitments about the future in order to keep the victim attached and invested in the relationship. The term “future faking” refers to the narcissist’s ability to create an illusion of a better future together, which never actually materializes.

When a narcissist engages in future faking, they often paint a picture of a perfect future filled with love, happiness, and success. They may make grandiose plans, such as buying a house, getting married, or starting a family. These promises are designed to give the victim hope and keep them hooked into the relationship.

However, the narcissist has no intention of following through on these promises. They use future faking as a tool to maintain control and manipulate the victim’s emotions. By creating a vision of a blissful future, the narcissist keeps the victim engaged and invested in the relationship, even when the present is filled with mistreatment or abuse.

Future faking can take various forms, depending on the narcissist’s tactics and the dynamics of the relationship. Here are some common examples:

  1. Empty promises: The narcissist may make promises about changing their behavior, seeking therapy, or working on the relationship. However, these promises are often empty and not backed up by any meaningful actions.
  2. False commitments: The narcissist may talk about long-term plans, such as moving in together or going on a dream vacation. They may even go as far as making specific arrangements, but when the time comes, they find excuses or back out.
  3. Love bombing: Love bombing is a tactic used by narcissists to overwhelm their victims with affection and attention. During this phase, the narcissist may shower the victim with compliments, gifts, and promises of a future together. However, once the victim is fully invested, the love bombing often stops, and the narcissist’s true behavior emerges.
  4. Gaslighting: Narcissists often use gaslighting to manipulate their victims and make them doubt their own reality. They may deny or downplay previous promises, making the victim question their memory or perception of events.
  5. Withholding affection: After future faking, the narcissist may withhold affection or emotional support, creating a sense of longing and yearning in the victim. This further reinforces their control over the victim’s emotions.

It is important to recognize future faking as a manipulative tactic and not fall into the trap of false promises. If you suspect that you are being future faked by a narcissist, here are some steps you can take:

  1. Trust your instincts: If something feels off or too good to be true, listen to your gut instincts. Pay attention to the narcissist’s actions rather than just their words.
  2. Set boundaries: Establish clear boundaries and communicate your expectations. Be firm in your boundaries and don’t allow yourself to be manipulated or coerced into staying in a toxic relationship.
  3. Seek support: Reach out to trusted friends, family, or a therapist who can provide emotional support and guidance. They can help you navigate through the manipulation and make informed decisions.
  4. Focus on self-care: Take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. Engage in activities that bring you joy and build your self-esteem.

Remember, future faking is a tactic used by narcissists to maintain control and manipulate their victims. By recognizing the signs and taking steps to protect yourself, you can break free from the cycle of manipulation and create a healthier future for yourself.

For additional support check out my book Love Smacked: How to Stop the Cycle of Relationship Addiction and Codependency to Find Everlasting Love available on Kindle and Audible, or check out my therapy and coaching packages.

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