Boundaries are similar to the rules that govern how a person interacts with the world around them. People with no boundaries do not follow typical relationship rules when interacting with people in their personal and professional lives. They may overshare personal information or not share anything, or they may constantly take advantage of others or feel very isolated and separated from others.
Relationships also have boundaries or limits. In a healthy relationship, the couple establishes their boundaries with a sense of mutual concern for each other’s emotional, mental, and physical health. When boundaries are lacking in a relationship, often due to issues such as addictions, mental health issues, abuse, or other factors, there is no balance. One person dominates the relationship while the other person feels pressured to give in.
Sign of Missing Boundaries
A few key signs of missing or lacking boundaries include:·
Feeling used – one person feels controlled and used in the relationship while the other person shows no concern, care, or empathy for their needy behavior.
People pleaser priority – individuals lacking boundaries feel the need to constantly please others to feel good about themselves
Anxiety -social interactions cause feelings of mild to intense anxiety or a feeling of not knowing what to do or say that is “right”
Constant drama – personal and professional life drama is often caused by a lack of understanding of boundaries. One person tries to control all aspects of a situation, creating drama and conflict if questioned or challenged.
Guilt – people may continuously do things that do not feel right. This leads to feelings of guilt for working in opposition to their values, beliefs, or their best interests.
Using the Law of Attraction
Using the Law of Attraction to attract positive events into your life is a principle that can be applied to developing healthy boundaries. The Law of Attraction states that what we focus on is what will come into our lives. If we want to change our boundaries, envisioning those healthy boundaries already in place is essential. To utilize the Law of Attraction in correcting boundary issues, start by:
Seeing your life with the boundaries you want and not the bare minimum– be specific, how are people interacting with you, what are you feeling/experiencing/doing, what is your life like in this new reality, what benefits are you experiencing?
State what you want – in addition to seeing boundaries in place, focus on what you want, not what you do not want to happen. In other words, thinking, “I don’t want Bob to yell at me” is less effective at bringing a change than stating, “I want to have conversations with Bob that are calm and positive.”
See yourself with a kind, loving, and caring partner – in many cases, problems with boundaries in relationships are a result of settling or compromising by being in a relationship with the wrong partner. Getting out of destructive relationships and learning to love yourself through the use of the Law of Attraction is essential to be able to attract a positive person in your life in the future.
It is impossible to send out good energy to the world when we are not in a good emotional state. Taking the time to heal ourselves is one of the essential components of using the Law of Attraction in finding your ideal relationship.Sherry Gaba, LCSW and Transformation Coach Author of Love Smacked: How to Stop the Cycle of Relationship Addiction and Codependency to find Everlasting Love And Wake Up Recovery for Toxic Relationships, Codependency and Love Addiction