Why Flying Monkeys Make It Difficult to Heal After Narcissistic Abuse

The aftermath of a toxic relationship can be incredibly challenging to navigate, and one of the reasons for this is the presence of what I like to call “flying monkeys” of the narcissist. These flying monkeys are individuals who are manipulated or influenced by the narcissist to further their agenda and maintain control over their victims. In this blog post, we will explore why the flying monkeys of the narcissist make it difficult to heal after a toxic relationship ends.

Firstly, it is important to understand the dynamics of a toxic relationship with a narcissist. Narcissists are individuals who have an inflated sense of self-importance, a constant need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. They are skilled manipulators who can charm and deceive those around them. During the relationship, the narcissist may have isolated their victim from friends, family, and support networks, making it easier for them to exert control.

When the relationship ends, the flying monkeys come into play. These individuals may be friends, family members, or even acquaintances who have been manipulated by the narcissist to believe their distorted version of reality. They may be convinced that the victim is to blame for the relationship’s failure or that the victim is exaggerating the abuse they experienced. The flying monkeys can become a barrier to healing for several reasons.

One reason is that the flying monkeys can perpetuate the gaslighting and manipulation the victim experienced during the relationship. Gaslighting is a psychological manipulation tactic used by narcissists to make their victims doubt their own reality and sanity. When the flying monkeys reinforce the narcissist’s narrative, it can be incredibly disorienting for the victim, making it difficult for them to trust their own perceptions and heal from the trauma.

Another reason is the fear of judgment and rejection from the flying monkeys. Victims of narcissistic abuse may hesitate to seek support or share their experiences due to the fear of not being believed or being further ostracized. The presence of the flying monkeys can intensify these fears and discourage the victim from reaching out for help or validation. This isolation can prolong the healing process and hinder the victim’s ability to rebuild their life after the toxic relationship.

Additionally, the flying monkeys can serve as a reminder of the trauma and abuse endured during the relationship. Seeing or interacting with individuals who are aligned with the narcissist can trigger feelings of anxiety, fear, and even retraumatization. This constant reminder of the past can make it difficult for the victim to move forward and fully heal from the emotional wounds inflicted by the narcissist.

Overcoming the influence of the flying monkeys requires resilience, self-validation, and support from individuals who understand the dynamics of narcissistic abuse. It is crucial for the victim to surround themselves with a strong support network of trusted friends, family, or therapists who can provide validation, empathy, and guidance during the healing process. Seeking professional help from a therapist who specializes in trauma and narcissistic abuse can also be instrumental in overcoming the impact of the flying monkeys and rebuilding one’s life.

In conclusion, the flying monkeys of the narcissist can significantly impede the healing process after a toxic relationship ends. Their manipulation, gaslighting, and reinforcement of the narcissist’s narrative can make it difficult for the victim to trust their own perceptions, seek support, and fully heal from the trauma. However, with the right support and resources, it is possible to overcome the influence of the flying monkeys and reclaim one’s life after narcissistic abuse.

For additional support check out my book Love Smacked: How to Stop the Cycle of Relationship Addiction and Codependency to Find Everlasting Love available on Kindle and Audible, or check out my therapy and coaching packages.

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